I was glad to get this January out of the way - it was the 13th anniversary of losing Andy, and while it doesn’t hurt as it used to, I still felt lighter once the 21st was out of the way. This January was also packed with lots of work in my role as an ‘expert by experience’ trying to make up for a lack of hours in December. I’ve taken part in all day interview panels, role playing with interviewees and several Teams meetings from home, followed by the inevitable need for recovery time afterwards. With the delightful combination of ADHD and autism, I get social exhaustion very easily and my work is often intense, leaving me utterly drained. There are days where I’ve only been able to lie in bed, napping and listening to podcasts, while my ever busy brain rages that I should be doing something productive. Needle felting! Painting! Blogging! Cycling! All of it, all at once! But I can’t. I simply have to rest and recover, and be completely, blissfully alone.
Once I’d recovered from my last work session, I spent three days batch cooking for when I can’t face making a meal, or when I am in the office all day and only just have enough energy left to put something quick in the oven before crawling into bed.
I’ve never been into fast or ultra processed food; I can remember at the age of 15, spending my babysitting money at the local health food shop. I had to buy my own granary loaf there, as my foster family only ate white sliced bread and were, to say the least, suspicious and resentful that I preferred to buy my own food and be a vegetarian. As well as reading books, a special crime in itself, earning me much ridicule. Which is one of the reasons I left after my 16th birthday and had to learn to survive on my own, on next to nothing. But I am wandering off topic, and it was a very long time ago.
I only became aware of the phrase ‘cooking from scratch’ last year, and was confused, as I have always followed (another catchphrase) ‘clean eating’ by choice and to me, cooking is just - well, cooking. I have had to economise throughout my life and I can cheaply batch cook something healthy for under £3, which can be turned into several meals for the freezer. Incidentally, I have only recently discovered baking a whole tray of potatoes at once, which can then be frozen for warming through when needed - how did I not know this before? They were a godsend when the power was off a few weeks ago, and I was able to put a couple of them on the fire.
I steamed, cooked and baked, producing a large red lentil and sweet potato traybake, thickened with porridge oats and made delicious with extra veg, various seasonings and lots of garlic. Also, a pot of rich, earthy mushroom and brown lentil soup, a batch of plain bread rolls, a big bag of mirepoix, for quick soups and sauces, extra chopped celery, onions, carrots and leeks to freeze. I peeled and steamed a bag of white potatoes and used little kitchen scissors to cut a 1kg pack of cheap smoked bacon offcuts into tiny cubes, as a substitute for pancetta, for soups and risottos.
I then made a crustless quiche with a base layer of potato slices, cheese, frozen spinach, 5 eggs and various bits and bobs, and a jar of pickled carrots which are good to go in soups and salads. Finally, I made soup stock from all the vegetable peelings and gnarly bits.
I was all out of executive function by the time I was finally finished, and needed another rest day. But I was pleased to have a fully stocked freezer, for the days when I have zero energy. I live far from any shops, without a car and I don’t have the option of ‘just popping out for something’. Fun fact; I haven’t had a takeaway meal for ten years. (This last fact has amazed my colleagues at work).
February and snowdrop season should be lighter in many ways, and I aim to get a lot more of my own work done, as I plan new things for the future.
