"Oh God, your sea is so great and my boat is so small"
(Breton fisherman's prayer)
Christmas has for many years been my least favourite part of the year and I knew that this one, my first without Andy and my first on my own, would be particularly rough. So I took a Sabbatical from online life and avoided the season as far as possible. Life for me went on as normal. I have been cloistered away in this little cottage for the last eleven months, grieving in solitude and trying to find a new way of life. It has been a struggle, but work has always been my lifeline and so it proved to be again. I used the time to explore new designs and plan a business that will hopefully enable me to stay here.
Many people sent me cards and good wishes. Some hoped that I would be spending Christmas with friends or family. I did have invitations to stay with friends, but I would not have been good company and needed to face things on my own, fight my own demons. Thank you to everyone for the kind thoughts, which are so much appreciated, even if I have not celebrated the season.
My boat is very small and the ocean I'm sailing on seems unbelievably vast. But I learned to steer it, alone, at a young age and slowly I am learning to sail solo again.