3.1.14

Emerging

        


    "Oh God, your sea is so great and my boat is so small"
 (Breton fisherman's prayer)

Christmas has for many years been my least favourite part of the year and I knew that this one, my first without Andy and my first on my own, would be particularly rough. So I took a Sabbatical from online life and avoided the season as far as possible. Life for me went on as normal. I have been cloistered away in this little cottage for the last eleven months, grieving in solitude and trying to find a new way of life. It has been a struggle, but work has always been my lifeline and so it proved to be again. I used the time to explore new designs and plan a business that will hopefully enable me to stay here. 

Many people sent me cards and good wishes. Some hoped that I would be spending Christmas with friends or family. I did have invitations to stay with friends, but I would not have been good company and needed to face things on my own, fight my own demons. Thank you to everyone for the kind thoughts, which are so much appreciated, even if I have not celebrated the season.

My boat is very small and the ocean I'm sailing on seems unbelievably vast. But I learned to steer it, alone, at a young age and slowly I am learning to sail solo again. 





29 comments:

Greenorchid said...

Wishing you continued courage for 2014.. sending love Cx

Charlotte said...

I have thought of you often over the Christmas season. Although you are sailing solo hopefully you will make port from time to time and find a welcoming harbour at each port you find. Happy to throw you a felted rope across the cyber sea whenever you want.

Mrs Black the shoppe keeping cat said...

I love Christmas but like you have spent some in solitude, and I find the spirit of winter in quiet times quite comforting. I wish you a New Year filled with light and healing. Nothing will ever be the same again, but it can be good. x

rossichka said...

I hope better times will come for you when you'll feel a real joy of living at the new place, in spite of the sorrow, embracing the memories. Meanwhile just follow your heart and listen to your soul, but know that there are everywhere friends for you - real and virtual. And having this treasure, is due to you!
I wish you a Calm, Smiling and Successful New Year, Gretel! May all your creative ideas give fruits and bring you pleasure and satisfaction! Be healthy! With love: Rossi xx

Julia Kelly said...

Many blessins to you in 2014!

Julia Kelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The fabric of my life said...

Thank you for this update Gretel. I have thought so much about you over the past few weeks and wondered how you were doing. My love, support and best wishes for 2014, a bright shiny New Year and calmer seas on which to sail your boat. Love you xxxx

Twiglet said...

Wishing you just the best for 2014 x Jo

sealingwaxandstring said...

I wondered how you'd got on this year and salute your bravery. Solo sailing may be tough but you are tougher. Tonia x

Nancy said...

I admire your bravery in dealing with sorrow and loss. It's hard for big changes. I am also undergoing a major change this Christmas and it is hard. My thoughts and positive thoughts are with you and I hope the New Year provides you with activity and peace.

Nancy

Karen said...

Wishing you all the best for the New year Gretel. I hope that everyday you manage to find a little spark of hope and magic that will help you along your journey in 2014. x

Rowan said...

Hopefully 2014 will see you steering into more peaceful waters even though your sad journey continues. I hope your business plans are successful and will bring you some financial security. All the best for the coming year.

Dartford Warbler said...

I thought of you this week. My little granddaughter and I were sharing "Mrs Mouse`s Cupcakes" yet again . She loves your two books.

Sending all good wishes for this new year, as time moves on. I hope that your new business venture goes well.

Jess said...

You're an amazing person Gretel, so talented. I wish you all the happiness that you deserve.
love Jess xx

BumbleVee said...

Hiya Gretel...some of us have "been there and back again" .... I know you know what I mean...... and we are still sailing around ... you can do this. I know you can. I know you will.

Big hugs,

Vee
xxx

ellen said...

Dearest Gretel,
You have been in my heart and am in my heart. I think of you so often and the painful loss of your beloved one. I send loads and loads of love your way and hope that your pain will ease. It is a long hard road..and a big cold ocean.
Much love to you, Ellen.

Caroline B said...

I did think of you over the Christmas period - the first one alone is bound to be the worst, but now it's over and you survived.
All the best for 2014, may it bring everything you need to continue your voyage.

Kari from Meadowview Farm said...

you are.......
.and that is enough.
Kari

Wendy said...

Hi Gretel, I thought of you often during the holiday and am so pleased you made it safely to shore!! Know that your friends are here for you, that we think of you and care for you, even if we have never met you.

I am praying that 2014 will be such a good year for you, that your work will help you through the tough times and Bodge Cottage will warm and love you when you need it!

Wendy

Tara Chang said...

Love you Gretel. xxxx

Dru Marland said...

just saying hello, and I hope this year goes well for you.

rachel said...

When the ocean seems unbearably vast, look around and call out - as you've already found during this first terrible year, you are really a part of a great flotilla of tiny boats, many all too willing to come over to yours to help and guide. Warmest wishes for a serene and fruitful 2014, dear Gretel.

Vintage Jane said...

Rachel has put it so perfectly ...
Take care dear Gretel and make sure you moor up your little boat often. Thinking of you. M x

julie said...

may the wind in your sails be warm and gentle Gretel and guide your little boat to calm and peaceful waters. With much love and best wishes for the coming year xxx

frayedattheedge said...

Very best wishes for the coming year.
Anne xx

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

We are all alone yet we can be connected. I hope 2014 takes you into calmer water.

the woolly dog said...

Gretel, you were thought of over Christmas and we hoped you would return when you were ready, welcome back. Take care. xxx

Soozcat said...

I know nothing we say can fix what you're going through, Gretel, and I think everyone here knows that we can't make the storms in life just go away. But even when your boat is small in a great sea, I hope it is a comfort to remember that your friends far and near are a willing crew who would gladly lend a hand to assist you through the storms and squalls.

In any case, very glad to see you back. xx

zacher.bay said...

It is difficult to know what to say to one who is grieving, and of course, as you say, it is you alone in that little boat. I think you are probably a strong woman ( i remember your radio interview) and come to terns in your head and heart. I am glad you are working on a business plan to keep you in your cottage. Pretty sure you will make it through all this and continue on, there are great things ahead for those who persevere and you are not a quitter.